Swipe Right IF You Like This Post - A Candid Comment About Dating Apps

 

Whether you are married, single, or in a relationship, you may be tempted or have logged on to a dating app somewhere along the line. Never mind the smirk and denial. Most of you have done it. And, yes, so have I. There are a lot of apps out there that cater to just about anyone interested in finding a partner. Some are geared to the LGBTQ2+ community. Others are segmented into groups like farmers or Christians, BBWs, and seniors. Some apps are meant to inspire a long-term commitment, others for the so-called hookup or friends-with-benefits culture.   You name it, it's out there. There are some plus and minuses here that need to be looked at, which is what this article is about. So read on, and if you like this article, virtually swipe right by sharing it.

There are some good things and some bad things to consider regarding the online dating world. So here are some pros/cons and tips to consider.

• Pro:  Most profiles have a photo on them, so you get a sneak peek at what the person looks like.
• Con: Many profile photos are outdated or of animals and nature and sometimes include other people or objects.
• Tip: Use an updated photo or photos of yourself. Make sure they are of you, not your pet or trees or you with a bunch of people. A potential date wants to see what you look like; they are interested in something other than a pic of Pookie the dog, or a tree. Also, posting a photo of you in a group violates privacy laws. If you post a group photo, cover the faces of the other people to protect their identity. And if you want to include Pookie, take a picture of you with your pet.

• Pro: Most profiles have an introduction and an about me section. This allows the person to share a brief summary of what they are looking for in a partner and what interests they may have.
• Con: The introduction section and about me are poorly written or contain too much, too little, or off-putting comments and rants in many profiles.
• Tip: Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Putting up an introduction that says something like spoil me rotten, or No scammers will turn people off. Also, writing a book or almost nothing will cause a swipe to the left to avoid that. Ranting about scammers and your medical conditions and coming across a laundry list of what you want will also get you an auto swipe left. Write one paragraph. Include your interests and hobbies, and for the introduction, write something that will spark a conversation. A good example is something like this. Sunny days are meant to be spent with sunny people. While it is okay to mention a disability or medical condition, the goal is to attract someone, so don't overdo it with a detailed medical report. And finally, keep the rant to yourself. If you are that angry, it is best to avoid online dating until you have cooled down. Yes, there are fake profiles, but coming across like a cop who can sniff out a scam will not be welcomed by anyone.

• Pro: There is a dating app to suit what you're looking for. You name it, you can find it.
• Con: Many people create profiles on multiple apps without understanding the intended audience.
• Tip: Read the app name, look at the description, and know what you are getting into. If an app title reads like The Dom House or  My Friend with Benefits. If you get my drift, it is a safe bet you are dealing with people who like whips and chains or a person who wants to be friends but also wants to put their shoes under your bed. So, read the title and read the description before creating a profile.

• Pro: There are a lot of really lovely and interesting people you can connect with.
• Conn: There are some really creepy people on dating apps.
• Tip: Trust your intuition. If the profile looks too good to be true, it is probably a swipe left. On the other hand, you may be delightfully surprised and find a fascinating person. Trust your instincts and also strike up a conversation with a potential date. People are looking for hookups; this is a very risky thing to do. Only do it with planning. Make sure you protect yourself. If you plan to get busy, it is safer to hook up with someone you know. Always let someone know where you are and set up a time for a check-in with them, or let them know often where you are and your next move. Also, if you did not ask and you start to receive unwanted communication or photos of naughty bits, ditch the person and report the profile. And yes, if need be, call the police for help. It does not matter if you are a guy or a gal. Creepy is not cool.

Jennifer Viveros and Dr. David Schramm wrote an interesting article about the pros and cons of dating. In the piece Pros and Cons of Online Dating in Later Life, they focused on older adults.  It covers the subject in more detail than I could have.  There are some other resources on the net that you can also review for yourself. You should take care and be informed of the positives and negatives, risks and benefits of online dating, and the associated apps.  Also, consider the traditional when it comes to dating.  Friends, family, and visiting places of interest can sometimes yield connections.  Even your workplace offers an opportunity to find a partner. But you really want to be careful while doing that on the job.  In short, explore the options, know the lay of the land, and plan accordingly.  Most of all, have fun.  Thanks for reading this post.  Please like and share it with others and send feedback below.  I will see you in the next edition.  Cheers.