This year I have to give credit to my sister Kathleen who is hosting a party. At this event no booze and no gift exchange. I like that. Nothing is more uncomfortable than going to a party dressed in everyday clothing. In contrast, others don their nicest digs, and they show up with a load of gifts, and you have none to give. I have been there, and it's not fun. Then seeing one or two people get drunk and start a fuss, now there is the topper, and yes, I have seen that too. Nor is going to a party and seeing others get a lovely gift and you get thanks for coming or, worse, ignored. I attended one Christmas party, and that actually happened to me. The cab ride home on the company tab could be considered a gift. LOL, well, it was better than nothing.
To be fair, I have been to Christmas events where I had a blast. With family and with work colleagues. There have been years when Christmas was really fun, and I enjoyed a great meal, shared some quality time with people, and offered a gift and got one too. One year back in the 80s, a family invited me to their home after the midnight church service. I was shocked, and I had nothing to offer them. Despite that, I felt welcomed in their home, and they got me a lovely basket of food. A perfect gift! I have never forgotten that. The turner family in Greenfield Park, Quebec, showed the true meaning of Christmas that year.
Back in 86, I was able to give gifts to some of our guests at my home here in Hamilton. I lived with my mom and stepdad, Bill. I had the pleasure of buying gifts for some of the guests who came to our home for dinner during Christmas. It was nice to be able to do that.
And yes, I have been on shift during Christmas. Once, I was in security back in 86 and several times in my current role as a call centre employee. So I do appreciate those working on Christmas. Police, fire ambulance, doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff. Store staff and, city employees and, the military. For many having to work on Christmas is slow and quiet, but for others, it is a busy time and, for others, the worst time of the year. I know of a few people who have no love of this time of year because of the job they do. Oh, they love the job and helping people, but there are situations where people are ugly, and those having to deal with them at this time of the year have to push through and get past those moments. My uncle Mike, God rest his soul, was a police officer who served with the Montreal Police department (Service de Police de la Ville de Montreal). Christmas was not one of his favorite days. I probably would feel the same way if I had to deal with drunks, fatalities, and other unpleasant situations. Oh, wait, I do. Yes, I have had to deal with some really nasty people on the phone at this time of the year. Fun times, eh NO. So I tip my Santa hat off to them and the other working folk who have to handle the not-so-nice stuff at this time of year. Thanks, what you do is appreciated.
What I am saying here is that Christmas is not a favorite time for some people, so what should we do to help make things better for them?
Here are some tips. These are things I appreciate. And I think others would too. I am no professional in psychology, but I know these things work for me.
1. Space, just enough to let one breathe. One thing I appreciate, especially this time of year, is a bit of alone time, especially when I first get in from work. Space is the best thing you can give to someone who deals with the public at this time of the year. The last thing I want, and I am sure others want, is to deal with another problem right away when they enter the house. If it can wait, hold off on asking for things to be done and from handing a laundry list of to-dos and problem-solving requests. Unless urgent your to do and problem can wait some time. Trust me on this one; offering space to decompress will benefit you and them in the long run.
2. 24-hour Christmas music and an all-decked-out house are nice, but you may want to leave a space where none of that is there, or you may want to tone down the tunes and decorations. The malls and other buildings at this time of year are lit up, and the music is pumped up. Retail workers really, really do not like this past a week. So while it's cool to deck out the house and play the tunes, remember to tone that down or at least turn it off for an hour or two. Even one or two days without all that Christmas noise and during the holidays to give someone in your family who has to be in that environment all day some respite from Christmas overload is helpful.
3. Do not put people in an awkward place. Many people can not afford to give a gift or may come to a party in their everyday clothes. Be kind, and do not single them out. Include them and let them know they are welcome and engaged with other guests. The best gift at the party is no gift other than good food and company. I do not suggest gift exchanges and am pleased when I hear that there are none. The only exception is for close family and kids.
4. Thank you goes a long way. No need to explain this one, but it is still nice to hear; thank you for working today during the Christmas season. Especially on the 24th and 25th.
5. Lastly, some people have experienced trauma from an event at this time of year, like a job loss, divorce, and even death. On or off-the-job trauma can lead to a real downturn in Christmas spirit. Acknowledging that is important. But I also suggest not indulging in either. Leave some space for those who have or are in pain to feel again and heal. It takes time to get over things, even at Christmas.
The things I have just mentioned I have been touched with, and I want to express that, for the most part, Christmas for me is full of giggles and happiness. However, things that happened in the past have caused that spirit to be not as strong as when I was much younger. So I appreciate the following. Space. A low-key approach to Christmas. Being welcomed no matter my look or if I have nothing in hand when I go to a party. Being thanked by customers for working especially if I am on duty on the 24th and 25th and for the space to feel the hurt when something not so nice has come my way recently. Now for those who are like me. I hope you have a good Christmas and that your experience with the holiday will improve and that you will warm up to this time of the year. And with that, I want to wish all who read this the very best. Merry Christmas / Happy holidays.
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